


A Periwinkle Raven

by RachelleOfAllTrades



Series: Maxiana Trevelyan [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Love at First Sight, One Shot, POV Alternating, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-05 17:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelleOfAllTrades/pseuds/RachelleOfAllTrades
Summary: Alexandra Trevelyan was completely infatuated with the Inquisition's spymaster despite constant rejection. It isn't until the Commander of the rebel mages, Maxiana de Parma comes to Haven that she finally lets go of Leliana because she's drawn to the mage with periwinkle eyes.





	A Periwinkle Raven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Restitutor_Orbis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Restitutor_Orbis/gifts).



> Restitutor_Orbis and I started talking about our OC's one day and decided to ~~force them together whether they liked it or not~~ put them together to see what would happen. In this AU, Maxiana is a de Parma (her mother's family), not a Trevelyan. Because... reasons....

### ALEXANDRA

War council had gone on longer than normal. The rebel mages had been given a full alliance, by her doing, and for some that didn’t settle as easy. Leliana was pleased, and as far as she was concerned that was good enough. They needed to seal the Breach, and the mages could help her do that. That was the whole point wasn’t it?

Josephine was sitting on the small sofa with Fiona, furiously taking notes. When the former Grand Enchanter mentioned she had contacts throughout Thedas, powerful mages that she felt would help the Inquisition and it’s cause, Alexandra immediately insisted they be contacted.

Hands resting on the table, her knuckles were turning white with her tight grip. Cullen had been chastising her for her _‘impulsive decision’_ to let the mages ‘ _roam free’_. As much as she was enjoying the debate, she was starting to get irritated with the former templar.

“More mages? There will be blood magic and abominations everywhere!” Cullen shouted at her.

Alexandra’s eyes flicked to Leliana before she replied. It was a habit she developed almost instantly upon meeting her. By now, nearly everyone knew of her infatuation so there was no point in hiding it. Leliana had politely deterred her advances, saying it was important their relationship remain professional, but that didn’t stop her from hoping.

Seemed the spymaster was amused with their argument but continued to let the two of them work it out on their own. Choosing instead to talk with Cassandra but Alexandra knew that was just a cover. Sometimes Leliana’s ability to be exceptionally observant and nonchalant at the same time made the Commander uneasy at times but Alexandra reveled in it. It was something she adored about her.

“Do you forget Commander that _I_ happen to be a mage? A former First Enchanter no less! I’m aware of the danger and I know just as well as you what can happen if the wrong idea gets planted in the wrong persons head. We need these people, Cullen,” she replied calm but firm, which she knew would drive him a bit mad. Cullen’s Fereldan never showed through more than when he was strategizing. His need to control the conversation would be thrown off balance by her calm demeanor.

It absolutely worked, much to her delight. His face was turning red, from frustration or embarrassment she wasn’t sure. His hand went to the back of his neck like it had done so many times before during their conversations. Embarrassment then. “I understand, I’m not denying we couldn’t use the help. But it’s my responsibility to keep everyone safe. We have templars here but not many.”

“This isn’t the Circle! You have no idea what it’s like to be trapped in that blighted tower for nothing other than the simple fact of being born a mage. They deserve a chance to prove themselves,” she countered.

“I was in the Circle myself, I know…” he began to argue back but she interrupted him.

“Do not compare your _voluntary work for the Order_ with being an innocent mage who is forced to live in the Circle!” she warned without doubt. Maker, he couldn’t be serious!

“That’s… not what I…” he stumbled as his face went an even deeper shade of red. “I’m sorry Herald. Of course that’s not what I meant. It’s just I’ve seen the worst that mages have to offer,” he conceded. It was his turn now to catch the spymaster’s gaze and something silent passed between them. Her stomach turned at the sight. She knew there was nothing between them but they had a history, knowing each other since the Fifth Blight, and as much as she hated to admit it, it made her a bit jealous.

“Perhaps we should retire for the evening?” Josephine offered, rising from the sofa. “I have letters to write and the two of you could go on all night.”

Alexandra nodded, “Until next time then Commander?”

“Herald,” he agreed with a nod and smirk before leaving the room.

“Are we still on for tea tomorrow?” Josephine asked her, lightly touching her arm as she passed by.

“Of course,” she answered without thought as she followed her out, “I hope you didn’t send for any fancy treats this time Josie. We really shouldn’t be using our resources for such things.”

Josephine smiled, “I’m not using _our_ resources. I’m using _my_ resources. Besides, this place is…” she stopped and looked around, “well, we deserve something nice every once in a while.”

“Come now Alexandra,” Leliana laughed walking up to them. Maker the way she said her name was divine. “Have you ever known Josie to give less than the best?”

“I suppose not,” she smiled at her. “Will you be joining us this time?”

“I’m sorry but I won’t be able too. Fiona said the first group of battlemages from the rebels will be here early in the day tomorrow. I’ll be working with Cullen and Cassandra to split them among our ranks. Perhaps next time,” Leliana answered, nodding to them both as she took her leave.

Josephine was all too aware of her crush on the spymaster so she felt no need to reserve herself. A _tsk_ came from the Antivan breaking her trance, not even needing to look at her to know she was rolling her eyes.

“Do you think she’ll ever change her mind?” Alexandra asked, only half aware as she turned her attention back to the Chantry door which was now shut with Leliana on its other side.

“It’s hard to say. We can discuss it more tomorrow. I really have to get this finished,” Josephine insisted, nudging her writing board up for emphasis.

“Of course, my apologies for keeping you. Until tomorrow then?” she said bowing her head making her way out of the Chantry and promptly turning towards the tavern. Bull would be there, of course he would and she wanted to let off some steam.

Pushing the door open, the sounds and smells of the tavern hit her harder than usual. Mages that traveled from Redcliffe with their party were making themselves at home in the small tavern and she was pleased to see there seemed to be no issue with them settling in with everyone else. Maryden was singing something upbeat and many of the patrons were singing along and dancing about.

When she spotted Bull, she went straight to him. Krem was there, as well as some of the other Chargers. What she didn’t expect was Knight-Captain Rylen to be hanging about with them. She had very little interaction with the man. Only knowing that he was a templar from Starkhaven, worked with Cullen in Kirkwall, and was greatly respected by the Commander.

“Boss! Pull up a chair and grab a drink!” Bull shouted out when he noticed her walking their way. “How was council?”

“Per usual,” she shrugged as Flissa handed her a drink. “Fiona gave us a bunch of mages to contact. Powerful ones she thinks can help. Cullen and I got into it a bit.”

Bull’s laughter was deep and filled the room, “You can’t help yourself can you? You know that man is as stubborn as they come?”

“I wonder if Maxiana will come,” Rylen pondered unexpectedly. His eyes were trained intently on the wood of the table, glossed over and unaware as he clenched his cup.

“Who?” Alexandra inquired. She watched him closely as a range of emotions swept across his face. Admiration, sadness, disappointment, and could that have been… love? This was a delicate situation. He went from being happy and playful with the others to aloof and quiet, “Knight-Captain?”

It seemed to break his trance. A small smile played on his lips as his eyes snapped up to her, “Maxiana is a Knight-Enchanter and very powerful mage. She’s a fucking good spell writer too. Rewrote the Spirit Blade spell so she could use daggers instead of a sword. Last I heard she was a Commander within the Circle of Magi. She has the brightest periwinkle purple eyes you’ll ever see in your life.”

“I’ll have to ask Josephine if she’s on the list,” she agreed. Certainly a mage of such capabilities would be an important ally.

“Herald, be careful if she is,” Rylen offered as his smile fell back into a grimace.

“Oh? Why is that exactly?” she questioned him. It almost made her uncomfortable, the way he held himself and the careful words he chose.

“She came to Starkhaven a few times. Her and I… had a relationship so to speak. Just be careful, that ones easy to fall in love with if she’ll let you,” Rylen said before downing the rest of his drink and shoving himself away from the table and walking out, his head hung low.

“What was that all about do you think?” she asked to no one in particular.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Bull said, very sure of himself.

“Chief, we’re not all Ben Hassareth so why don’t you enlighten the table?” Krem teased the Qunari.

“He’s in love with her,” Bull said with a shrug. “I’m guessing she broke it off and he didn’t take it very well. I’m also going to say she doesn’t know how upset he is.”

“You got all that from that?” Krem said pointing to Bull then Rylen’s empty seat.

“Yeah, wasn’t it obvious?” Bull said with a smirk.

“How about we just drink instead of worrying about what Bull does and does not know,” Alexandra offered, hoping to ease the weird tension that broke out at their table.

“Good idea,” Krem agreed. “Have I ever told you about how Bull lost his eye?”

Krem went into the story easily enough with little prompt. It almost made her jealous, the bond the two of them shared. She wanted that but the only person she had any interest in being that close with had made it clear she didn’t want the same thing.

He had told her this story before, it was his favorite one. Something about Bull brought that out in you she guessed. She knew the times she needed to react and the queues she had to listen for so instead she let her mind wonder because all she could think about was a pair of bright periwinkle purple eyes.

 

### MAXIANA

 _So this is the Inquisition?_ Maxiana thought as she approached the gates that would lead her into the village. Trying to insist that she see the temple and the Breach first, it didn’t work in her favor as Fiona wanted her to meet with the Inquisition Council straight away.

Leaving the Circle of Magi to join the rebels hadn’t been a decision she made lightly. Having a father who hates mages was reason enough for her to fight back. She adored her father to pieces but as soon as he saw the healing magic glow from her hands onto her mother’s swollen, pregnant belly, he acted as if she was a total stranger, someone to be feared and locked away.

She had been lucky, her mother was a proud, strong woman who protected her children with a fierceness that could shake even Queen Anora. Being a part of a merchant Prince family in Antiva tended to make you fearless. Maker, her mother could scare the look off of someone’s face.

Maddix, her brother, was certainly displeased with her decision. The only reason she was in the Circle in the first place was because the two of them had been placed there by the de Parma family to give them eyes and ears on the inside of the Circle of Magi. When she told him of her plans to join the rebels, he had tried to go with her. Luckily she had convinced him to stay in the Free Marches instead, to stay close to his wife and children.

Whispers of rebellion had always spread across the Circles and beyond but when an apostate blew up the Chantry in Kirkwall and the subsequent mage rebellion there, followed by a vote to separate the mages from the Chantry, she knew it was her time to get back the life her father had wanted to steal from her and away from the one her mother’s family had forced on her. To show everyone once and for all that she was stronger than they believed her to be.

Dismounting from her Frostback Elk, a gift from Thane Svarah Sun-Hair for helping return Storvacker to Stone-Bear Hold, she patted her a few times before a stable hand offered to take her. The elk shook its great antlers in protest when the man grabbed her reins.

“It’s all right Lucy,” she tried to calm the elk. “They’ll take care of you here.”

It seemed to take her for her word as it calmed after a few more words of reassurance, disappearing into the stables with the man. Her eyes wondered about settling on the training grounds. Without much thought, she immediately walked towards the men and women working their muscles as they threw their swords and shields at each other. It was where she belonged, had belonged, for so many years.

Unexpectedly, her breath caught in her throat. When her brain caught up with her, she realized she was staring into the eyes of one Knight-Captain Rylen. They hadn’t seen each other since she had broken things off with him. From the way he watched her, she was sure he hadn’t felt the same way she had about the whole situation, which only made her feel all the more guilty about it.

Whoever he was standing next to was staring at her too. Something about the way he was watching her made her uneasy. Heat rushed to her cheeks as the man smirked then looked away, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. The fur cloak and armor he wore suggested he wasn’t just a solider so she assumed he was of rank.

“Rylen, I didn’t know you were with the Inquisition. How have you been?” she asked unsure when she reached them.

“About as well as you’d expect,” Rylen answered as he squared his shoulders and his arms crossed his chest. “Ser, this is Commander Maxiana de Parma. She leads the rebel mage forces.”

“Though it seems we are no longer rebels are we? We are now all part of the Inquisition,” she corrected, her hand stretched out for the man to take.

“Commander Cullen Rutherford, my lady,” he introduced gripping her hand.

“Please, call me Maxiana. I insist,” she smiled as the smirk crept back onto his face. “Wait, Cullen Rutherford? As in, Knight-Commander Cullen Rutherford from Kirkwall?”

It clearly made him uncomfortable that she recognized his name. His hand went back to his neck and the red on his cheeks returned.

“One and the same, lass. If it’s all the same to the two of you, I think I’ll make myself useful elsewhere,” Rylen announced before stalking off towards the village.

“Maker,” she muttered under her breath. “My apologies Commander. Rylen and I…”

His hands rushed up signaling for her to stop. “No need to apologize. I’m aware of the situation. You didn’t know he was here and he had no warning you would arrive this morning.”

Her head bowed sharply, “Thank you Ser, for understanding. Perhaps you and I should talk of the Breach instead?”

“Yes, of course,” he answered with a shallow nod. “You could join us for council at five bells, in the Chantry.”

“Thank you Commander, I will be there,” she replied returning his nod before walking up the steps into the village. She couldn’t stop thinking about Rylen. She wanted to talk things over, make sure her presence wouldn’t be an issue between them. Several people seemed to be filtering in and out of a small building in front of the Chantry. Quickly grabbing a passerby, they informed her it was the tavern. Wanting to shake her nerves before looking for the Knight-Captain, she made her way there.

Upon opening the door, it was clear the place was busy day and night. Most were eating a meal but a few were drinking, and not lightly. It was only midday but being in war did that to you. Walking over to the bar, she ordered a cup of wine and asked for some bread. She wasn’t really hungry but being a lightweight drinker made it that much more potent when she did and the bread would help.

“Maxiana de Parma?” she heard shouted by an Antivan voice.

Turning, she saw who had shouted at her. A wide smile breaking on her face, “Josie!”

Walking over to the woman, they quickly hugged one another, each giving a light kiss on the other’s cheek. “I didn’t know you were coming! Fiona didn’t give me your name!”

“She sent word from Redcliffe. I command the rebels, or used to I suppose,” she said with an unsure voice. “I’m not sure what my role is now. But I’m here all the same.”

“We can discuss it at Council later, yes? You will be there won’t you?” Josie asked, even though it sounded much more like a command.

“I will, I’ve already spoken with the Commander. He informed me of the meeting,” she answered. Just then, a woman came in the door just past her vision. Knee-jerk reaction caused her to turn to the sudden burst of cold air and beams of midday light shining into the dim room.

The woman who entered was devastatingly beautiful and she was finding it difficult to concentrate. She was tall and her dark, nearly black hair fluttered about with the wind that kicked up before she shut the door. From what she could tell it was long enough to reach her mid back. One side was tucked behind her ear, not unlike how she normally wore her own. Maker, her eyes were the most brilliant shade of green she was sure she had ever seen.

“Josephine, what’s taking so long?” the woman asked as she approached them.

“Alexandra, this is Maxiana de Parma. Her family and mine have been in trade together for many years. She’s the Commander of Fiona’s battlemages. Maxiana, this is Alexandra Trevelyan, Herald of Andraste,” Josephine introduced.

“Maker, forgive me Herald,” Maxiana said bowing her head and feeling her hands start to shake with lightning. _Get it together!_ She told herself. Nerves were taking over her and she was trying to keep her breathing under control. It had been many years since her magic involuntarily showed itself due to her emotions.

“It’s all right, Commander,” Alexandra said as her hand reached out to shake her own.

Maker, her grip was firm. It made her wonder about things. She quickly shoved those thoughts aside. _She’s the Herald for Maker’s sake!_ She chastised herself.

“Y-you can call me Maxiana,” she answered, hearing the waiver in her voice. It had been some time since a woman had had this kind of effect on her, it was unnerving.

“Maxiana it is then,” Alexandra agreed with a definite smirk that made her belly fill with heat. “You’ll be joining us for Council I presume?”

“Er, yes…” she answered. Maker, what was wrong with her? She could stare down any foe but couldn’t talk to one woman? Performing magic, writing spells, commanding an army? Sure no problem! But talking to Alexandra seemed to have become a very difficult task for her. “Josie and I, we… we were just talking about it.”

“Good. Then we will see you then,” Alexandra answered, lightly brushing her arm before following Josephine out of the tavern.

A shiver went down her spine at Alexandra’s touch. Embarrassment crept in when she realized she had been staring, watching the woman’s hips sway as she walked away from her. Abruptly, she straightened herself up, looking around to see if anyone had noticed her behavior. As far as she could tell, no one had and that was a relief.

 

### ALEXANDRA

“Alexandra,” Josephine said tentatively. “Alexandra?”

Her gaze was focused on the detail of the tea cup set Josephine had sent to Haven from home. They were simple enough, white with gold trim. But the intricate detail of the hand painted purple pansies is what held her interest. The deep purples on the inside of the flower that changed to a delicate periwinkle purple along each petal’s edges reminded her of Maxiana and those bright eyes she had been warned of.

It had been a few days since the Commander had joined them. Since the mages arrival, they had spent little time together. Her stomach twisted and she couldn’t ignore the disappointment she felt. Perhaps she could find someway to get her to spend time with her, preferably alone. Maybe she could challenge her to a sparring match.

Maxiana had mostly worked with Cullen and Leliana. Appointing her people to the right areas of the Inquisition where their talents would serve best. Surprisingly, Cullen offered to let Maxiana keep her role as Commander. Saying she was best suited to lead the battlemage regiment of their forces. From what she had learned of the former templar, he wasn’t very trusting of mages so easily, herself included. When he suggested she keep her role and be his equal, it damn near stunned everyone. Except Leliana of course. That woman knew everything even before you knew it yourself. The red of his face at her acceptance was obvious and it was mirrored in Maxiana, which only made her feel worse.

Whenever they spoke, Maxiana always got a bit nervous and stumbled a bit on her words. But when she spoke to Cullen, Alexandra could see her confidence. The playfulness of their relationship and how easy it seemed to be for the two of them to work together.

“ALEXANDRA?” Josephine shouted at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she startled at her friend’s raised voice.

“Is… everything all right?” the Antivan asked, her brow furrowed and voice filled with concern.

Alexandra cleared her throat, straightening herself as she set down her tea cup. “Do you know much about Maxiana?”

“Ah, I see,” Josephine answered with a smug look.

“Don’t do that,” Alexandra teased.

“Do what?”

“That. That, ‘I know something you don’t’ thing. Don’t do that. Just tell me,” Alexandra replied trying not to sound like she was pleading with her.

“Maxiana, you have feelings for her,” Josephine said without question.

 _Feelings? Maker, no. Infatuation perhaps. But feelings?_ She thought as the hem of her tunic suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world to her anxious fingers.

“That’s very funny, Josie. I barely know her. She’s running our battlemage regiment, I wanted to know more about her,” Alexandra countered. Internally groaning at the look she was given.

“Right of course,” Josephine accepted though she clearly didn’t believe her. Maker, that was annoying when she did that. “She is the daughter of Lucia de Parma who is a daughter in the Merchant Prince family of the same name. Our families have allied together to use one another’s ships for several decades. She is the eldest of her family, with two sisters and twin brothers. She was intended to marry Laurien but when she turned out to be a mage the family decided to make different uses of her.”

“She was supposed to marry your ridiculous brother?” Alexandra laughed.

“Yes, well, its seems she may have lucked out there. I’m afraid I don’t know much more than that. She was well trained in private as was one of her sisters. One of her twin brothers is a templar while the other commands one of the family ships. She’s very powerful, is proficient at spell writing. Her and her templar brother were sent to the Circle to spy on things for their family,” Josephine continued with a slight shrug to her shoulders.

“You say that as if it’s completely normal,” Alexandra observed. Sure, she had played her hand when she needed to get the advantage but training and sending your own child into a Circle? Seemed a bit outrageous if you asked her.

“In Antiva it is. Especially for the three Prince families, they’re more powerful than any other in Antiva,” Josephine said with another all-knowing smirk.

“Maker’s breath Josephine stop giving me that look!” Alexandra nearly shouted.

“I don’t have any idea why you think you can hide anything from me. I’ve known you for a very long time my friend. I know you better than probably anyone else here. Today in council do you know how many times you looked at Leliana when she wasn’t speaking?”

“I don’t know, a few?” Alexandra replied dryly.

“You didn’t. Not even once,” Josephine answered, more smug than before if that was even possible.

“I-I,” Alexandra began but stopped as her words caught in her throat. Thinking over the last few days, she hadn’t given the woman much thought beyond their duties. They had very little interaction outside of council meetings. But those eyes. _Maker._

A sound of defiance came from Josephine, “Commander Maxiana spoke a total of three times in today’s council meeting. Do you know how many times you _looked at her_?”

Alexandra just stared at the woman. There was no point in arguing once Josephine started in on her. Slowly she realized that there was some traction to what she suggested but then Josephine let her have the final piece of her game and it was so much deeper than she had even realized.

“Eleven. She was only there for about thirty minutes. You looked at her eleven times, once you were even staring.”

“I was not… Shit.” _Shit._ She had been staring at her. They had been discussing the Breach, what the mages would need to do to help her close it off for good when Maxiana offered to go down into the Temple with her for protection. The smile she wore, the confidence in her eyes, it captivated her.

“She was watching you too, for what it’s worth. You should go talk to her,” Josephine offered before pointing to the door of her office.

“Why? She’s obviously into Cullen,” she grimaced, hating the way her heart dropped as she said it. Damn Antivan was right wasn’t she?

“That’s never stopped you before,” Josephine chuckled. “Besides, we both know you won’t hold out for long. You’re not the kind of person to dance around your feelings.”

Looking up at her friend, their eyes met and held steady, neither of them willing to break and admit defeat. There was a crinkle to the ambassador’s eyes and that stupid smirk to go with it. Perhaps she should go talk to Maxiana. At least once she talked to her she would know where she stood once and for all.

Her teacup hit the saucer harder than she intended as she put it down and shoved her chair away from the desk, “Fine. You win. I’ll go talk to her.”

“Do let me know how it goes,” Josephine said as she returned to her work.

“Such a gossip,” Alexandra joked as she walked out of the office.

After she walked out, the door shutting loudly behind her, she stopped. She had no idea where to even being looking. How had she paid such great and yet little attention to the woman? The thought of finding her with Cullen was certainly unsettling.

She allowed herself to just walk about the village until they crossed paths. Asking a few people if they had seen her but no one had. Before she knew it, she was out at the training grounds. Relief flooded her when she saw Cullen there with the troops without her at his side. Somehow, his normal demeanor seemed colder, sadder today for some reason. Walking down onto one of the jetty’s that lined the frozen lake she had hoped she would be there instead. Maxiana had claimed the space for the battlemage's own training but when she looked out to the people that were practicing there, Maxiana was no where to be found.

A flash caught her eye without warning. It was lightning, she was sure of it. Her eyes wandered beyond the lake to the waterfall and she caught it again. Short bursts were thrashing out, not even strong enough to do anything. It had to be her. No one else carried magic quite like that, only Maxiana. It was one of the things that drew her attention to begin with when she noticed the small little bolts dance about the woman's fingers when they first met.

Walking around the lake, she climbed up on the ledge where she was. The frozen waterfall was absolutely beautiful, it was mostly open aside from the small nook that was surrounded by ice. It was noticeable at this angle but wouldn’t be from any other and was definitely carved out using magic. Maxiana was sitting right in the middle, body scrunched together and shoulders slumped.

“Maxiana?” she said quietly, hoping she wouldn’t scare her.

When she turned to face her, the lightning on her hands was wild. Dancing around her fingertips and every so often gaining traction in the icy walls surrounding them. Her periwinkle purple eyes were deep, the skin surrounding them puffy and red.

“Herald, my apologies, I…” she started to get up but slumped back down to the floor with an audible _thud_. Her breathing was heavy and her hands rushed up to her head, squeezing it tightly. Her body resumed its previous position, knees up to her eyes which overflowed quickly with tears.

“Maxiana!” Alexandra shouted rushing over to her side. “Look at me.”

Those purple eyes locked with hers upon her command but all she found there was fear and sorrow. The lightning that covered her hands seemed more fierce than before and Alexandra did the only thing she could think to do.

Hands glowing an earthy green, she placed them over Maxiana’s. Hoping that the healing magic would somehow calm her, bring her some peace. A sigh of relief left her when Maxiana’s breathing started to steady, her grip loosened and she stopped crying.

“Thank you,” Maxiana said, letting her hands fall to her sides. “I’m sorry Your Worship. I was trying to find somewhere to hide. I didn’t want to disturb anyone.”

“Disturb anyone? What if I hadn’t found you?” she asked urgently. Alexandra’s heart was racing, she was unequivocally frightened for the woman.

“I… I don’t know. I’ve always been able to bring myself out of them,” Maxiana assured. “It’s never been that bad before. I’m so sor…”

“Maker please stop apologizing. It’s not your fault,” she told her confidently. Maker, it was eating her up to see her this way. She wanted to help, to kiss away every sadness she felt. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Maxiana’s eyes grew wide as they locked with hers again. She worried that perhaps she shouldn’t have asked but then Maxiana’s head fell back into her hands but this time to cover her face.

“Hey, hey,” she cooed as she sat next to her, pulling Maxiana into her lap and holding her tightly. “It’s okay, you don’t have too. I just want to help.”

Before she could stop herself, she was pushing her tear soaked hair away from her face, rocking her lightly and peppering kisses onto her head. Sobs shook the both of them and when Maxiana’s lightning seemed to want to make a reappearance she conjured the healing magic once more to calm her back down.

Before she knew it, Maxiana started talking and didn’t seem to stop for some time. Turned out, before she had gotten to Haven a lot of things happened, bad things. Her best friend from the Circle, Jadzia, had followed her into the rebels. In a battle, Jadzia had fallen from a templar attack. Maxiana had tried to heal her but it had been too late and the elf died in her arms.

On top of all that, given her involvement in the war she thought it best to break things off with Rylen. They had a long distance relationship for many years and she had been under the impression that he felt the same. They had talked it out when she arrived and it hadn’t gone how she had expected and the loss of yet another friend, someone she loved and trusted, was weighing heavily on her.

“I thought Cullen and I were getting closer but when I asked him today he said it wouldn’t be appropriate. That he’s friends with Rylen and it’s unprofessional regardless. I… I thought he really liked me,” Maxiana admitted.

Alexandra ignored the fact that her heart sank to the bottom of her toes when the nature of the commanding officers relationship was revealed to her, confirming her suspicions.

“Perhaps that’s for the best,” she offered feeling Maxiana scoff against her neck. “Seriously, I bet everything will work out just fine.”

“Right,” Maxiana responded pulling back from her. “What makes you so sure?”

Without thought, Alexandra put her hands on either side of her face, her thumbs wiping away the tears that had trailed down her cheeks. Maker, her eyes were stunning and she had to resist the urge to ask her if she could stare into them until the end of time.

Maxiana’s hand came up and rested on her own. She thought for a moment that maybe she was going to pull her hands away but then her face pushed into her hand and stayed there.

“This is nice,” Maxiana sighed as her eyes shut. “I’ve felt so lonely lately. You’re so busy and everyone demands so much of you. Thank you for taking the time for me.”

“Maxiana,” Alexandra whispered causing the woman’s eyes to shoot open and settle on hers. Maker, she felt so conflicted. Her intention was to tell her how she felt but the searching look that she was given made her wonder if telling her right now was a bad idea.

“Alexandra,” Maxiana whispered back to her after she didn’t respond promptly.

 _Oh Maker._ The best chorus in the Chantry had nothing on the way she said her name. It was the first time she had and Alexandra suddenly felt starved of her voice. Eyes flickered down as Maxiana’s teeth bit into her bottom lip and she shifted until she was close enough for her to feel her warm breath.

 _Fuck it._ Pulling her in, she crashed her lips down on Maxiana’s. The moan she heard made her heart sing and she wanted to do anything, everything, to hear that sound again. Pushing her tongue out, she played with her lips before Maxiana allowed her entry forcing the kiss deeper. Their bodies pressed together tightly and the little nook suddenly felt warm enough to melt the ice.

Everything seemed to be a blur as her mind rushed with each sensation, every touch, every moan, every whispered name and promise. It wasn’t at all what she had expected to happen and part of her hoped Maxiana wouldn’t regret it later because there was no way she could stop herself from falling in love with her now.

 

### MAXIANA

It had been nearly a month since the moment up on the waterfall. They had fallen asleep, waking late in the night. It was a good thing they were both mages, anyone else probably would’ve frozen up there but they were able to keep themselves warm with magic.

Alexandra had been sent to the Fallow Mire to rescue missing soldiers not long after. Maxiana had insisted she join her. She was a powerful mage and had dealt with the Avaar before but Alexandra asked her to stay behind and continue to help integrate the troops with her battlemages, saying the Breach was of greater concern right now.

Cullen had been awkward around her for a few days but it seemed he had let it go just as much as she had. In fact, she felt she could count him as a good friend by now. They worked well together and had similar strategic styles. Alexandra had written ahead, saying that the soldiers had been rescued and upon her return she wanted to take on the Breach. If the trip from the Fallow Mire was made without issue, the party should be arriving in Haven sometime that day.

Today was the first time they had been successful at mixing everyone together. Challenging the troops to pair with battlemages and vise versa. The couple of times they had tried before resulted in fighting that they were lucky enough to keep under control. Everyone seemed to be molding together today, likely because of the word of the Herald’s return.

“Will they be ready in time?” Cullen asked her as they watched over everyone.

“Are you questioning my ability to command my mages, Commander?” she joked watching the red blush cover his cheeks.

“No! I mean… I’m just trying to make conversation,” Cullen replied as his hand found the back of his neck.

“That’s very unlike you. To fill empty silence. Is there something on your mind?” she inquired watching the blush deepen.

“I’m just worried. We have to be successful. Something feels off though, doesn’t it? Like something is not quite right?” he wondered aloud with a vacant stare.

Her head turned to the Breach. Tendrils of magic lashing out like her own lightning magic as it swirled above them. She suddenly had a sinking feeling in her stomach. She knew little of the man’s history but from what she did, if anyone was to know when something was off, it was surely him. When she turned back to him, his eyes were on her.

“We’ve become friends wouldn’t you say?” he asked her firmly. After she nodded, he continued, “I’m worried about what this will do to Alexandra, what that will do to you. You care for her don’t you?”

Cullen never used Alexandra’s name, he always referred to her as ‘Herald’ which only made her more uneasy. His brow was furrowed and his eyes drooped in concern. Thinking over the question he posed, the answer came to her very quickly. She did care for Alexandra. Deeply.

She reached out, holding his arm tightly, “Alexandra is strong Cullen. She can handle it.”

“She’s the only one who can close the Breach, seal the rifts. We need her to survive,” he added, pulling his arm away and crossing them on his chest.

“She will,” she replied as confidently as she could.

“A Pride demon fell from that thing last time,” Cullen argued.

“Last time you didn’t have my mages Commander,” she said with a playful note to her voice. “She will not fail. I have to believe that.”

“Talking about me are you?” they heard from behind them.

A wide smile broke on her face when she turned to see Alexandra standing there with her arms crossed and her brow raised. It didn’t hold for long as she smiled at her in return. She was only a few steps away, but Maxiana nearly ran into her arms, jumping up to give her a deep kiss. Foreheads resting together as their lips parted.

“Maker, I missed you,” Maxiana whispered as her feet touched back down on the ground and Alex held her tightly.

“And I missed you,” she said planting a kiss on the top of her head. “Have you eaten?”

“Not yet,” Maxiana answered.

“My apologies Commander, if you don’t mind I’d like to borrow my girlfriend for a bit,” Alexandra shouted as she began pulling Maxiana away from the training grounds. _Girlfriend. Maker._

“Yes, of course,” Cullen replied with a smirk on his face.

She was all but dragging her into the village. It was obvious the direction she was headed, not that she was complaining at all. She had missed her greatly.

“I thought we were getting something to eat,” Maxiana said with a giggle.

“Oh I will be,” Alex teased back. “You can too if you want.”

“Maker,” she whimpered. Alexandra was so much more confident about these things and it made her stomach flip.

The cottage door slammed shut behind her and Alexandra had her pinned in one motion. Her tongue pushed into her mouth urgently, as if she needed it in order to live. Both of them moaning loudly into one another as their mouths danced together. Her teeth bit down into Alexandra’s bottom lip as she tried to pull away. Maker, this woman was going to drive her mad.

“Strip,” Alexandra said pushing away from the door.

She began to walk into the cottage but Alexandra stopped her.

“No, ma amour. Right here. Strip,” she seduced getting closer to her, whispering in her ear. “I’m going to taste you right here, against this door. We’ll put the bed to use later. Maybe the desk too.”

“Fuck,” Maxiana uttered as the wet between her legs thickened. She moved as quickly as she could, pulling at buckles and hems to get everything off as quickly as possible. Alexandra watched her every move, her green eyes deep and hungry. “You’re going to be my undoing.”

“I certainly hope so, multiple times in fact,” Alexandra purred as she got down on her knees pulling Maxiana’s leg up to rest on her shoulder.

She moved painfully slow. Peppering kisses on her thighs and stomach, causing her body to twitch and her hips to roll in anticipation. She pleading with her, begging her to help her find her released.

“So impatient ma amour,” Alexandra said close enough to her wet folds for her to feel the vibration of her voice and the heat from her breath.

“Fuck, please Alexandra! I can’t wait any longer,” she nearly shouted grabbing the back of the woman’s head to pull her into the center of her legs.

The corresponding moan that came from her made Maxiana’s head fall back onto the door with a loud _thud_. She was sure anyone nearby was going to hear them but she didn’t really care at the moment and as far as she could tell neither did Alexandra.

Every pass of her tongue, the way her fingers dug into her skin, set her closer and closer to the edge. It wouldn’t take much longer at this rate and she couldn’t stop begging her for more. When Alexandra’s arm hooked around her thigh, and her fingers pushed into her entrance she gave in. Body convulsing and hand pulling Alexandra’s hair as she let it take over her body.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with the both of them pushing each other to the edge. Alexandra made good on her promise as they made use of the multiple surfaces in the small cottage. Neither of them caring if anyone heard them knocking things over and banging against the walls.

They had eventually made it to the bed. Cradled against her, their legs twisted together, her head in the crook of Alexandra’s neck and her hair being played with by her lover.

“Are you worried?” she suddenly asked out of nowhere.

“About what ma amour?” Alexandra asked her lazily.

“The Breach,” she said quietly, “What if… what if it…” she couldn’t get the words out.

“I’m not going anywhere I promise you,” Alexandra reassured.

She was so confident but she couldn’t shake that something was going to go wrong. They hadn’t had much time together but she was sure that if something happened to her, if she died, that it would be her demise. She propped herself up on an elbow, pushing Alexandra’s hair to the side, her eyes searching her face hoping that her confidence would reverse her worry but all it did was fuel her need for her. She had to tell her now, before she lost her nerve.

“Alexandra, I love you,” she said brushing her lips lightly across Alexandra’s knuckles.

Hands cupped her face and pulled her down until their lips met. This kiss was different than the others. Slower, more reserved, as if Alexandra was trying to mesmerize every pass of her lips and the feeling of her tongue against her own.

Foreheads pressed together once more, Alexandra’s green eyes locked onto her periwinkle purple, “I love you too, ma amour.”

“Promise me, that you’ll survive, that you’ll come back to me,” Maxiana murmured falling back into her embrace.

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 💜  
> 
> 
> ### A BIG THANKS TO RESTITUTOR_ORBIS.
> 
> You are awesome and I can't thank you enough for being supportive and encouraging and answering ten thousand million questions about your babe, Alexandra. I hope I did her justice!
> 
> ***Read Maxiana's story [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733370/chapters/39251352) and more stories about Alexandra by Restitutor_Orbis [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1352068).


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